bimo | (Reply)

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Oh dear, this is a rather tough mix, but well, let me see...

Doctors Five and Ten, Jean-Luc Picard and Emma Swan are attending a multiversal crime fiction convention when host Gaius Baltar is found strangled to death in a holosuite.

While the strand of blonde hair found under Baltar's fingernails strongly hints at either Fivey or Emma Swan, the tenth Doctor manages to produce some timey-wimey piece of evidence, letting no other man appear guilty than famous Starfleet Captain Jean-Luc Picard – who promptly gets arrested and thrown into the brig.

Night falls, the space station turns, spinning and spinning its way through, under, up, below and sideways various lovely and not quite so lovely non-logical multiverse dimensions. In his cell, Jean-Luc Picard is practicing his defense arguments. His calm yet surprisingly carrying voice is echoing through corridors and Jeffries tubes.

A very long, increasingly claustrophobia-evoking camera shot ensues, but is suddenly brought to a halt, because the Jeffries tube is being blocked by a lifeless Gallifreyan body. The shiny blonde hair is making for a nice visual contrast with the dark Jeffries tube floor. With his left hand, poor Fivey is pointing toward some greenish bits of vegetable.

"Looks like celery sticks," Emma Swan says, picking up one of the pieces once the body has been discovered some solar hours later.

"Celery sticks, apparently laid out on purpose to form the number six," Ten ads. His geek glasses make him appear awfully clever, the expression in his eyes strikes Emma as rather sorrowful.

"Oh, Five, what have you done to yourself this time?" he finally says, more to himself than to his companion.

"What do you make of the celery, Doctor? Are we looking at an actual hint or just a failed attempt at regeneration?"

"Knowing my former me, I'd say it's the latter."

They stare at each other. In lieu of a proper shroud, Emma eventually begins to cover the Fifth Doctor's face and upper body with one of her better leather jackets when suddenly her eyes light up with excitement.

"Look, I think he's still got a pulse, no, two pulses actually! I really don't claim to know much about Gallifreyans, but shouldn't we hurry to get him to the infirmary?"

"No, the cafeteria should be better," Ten says. "They have some Tarkalean tea there, and I remember how much I liked that when I was him."

"Okay, to the cafeteria then."

***

Somewhere in the space station's secret control room a perfectly alive Gaius Baltar is sprawling across a sofa, a gorgeous looking blonde sitting on his lap.

"What do you think, Gaius? Should we have Picard escorted to the cafeteria as well, to clear this mess up? Or should we have these fools guess just a while longer?"

PS: I'm afraid I got carried away... Doing a scenario like this in a ten or even twenty-five word mini fic proved to be somewhat impossible ;-)